I just want to pack up and get away for awhile. Go far away where nobody knows me and where I can take a deep breath, letting go of all of the stress. I want to take the people that I love with me, get them away from all of the hurt surrounding them, and be a better friend while they go through a tough time instead of only focusing on keeping myself afloat. I just wish I could disappear for awhile and get myself back together.

gabriellemariehernandez:

Time to be a cat.

I don’t know what the deal is.  I am a complete mess today.  Work sucked, cleaning sucks, laundry sucks, homework sucks, being alone in my apartment sucks.  These things normally don’t really bother me, but today for some reason, it’s overwhelming. I miss my dog and cat who knew when I needed a little pick me up. I miss my sorority.  I miss going over to the house and having all of my sisters make me laugh and feel better.  And now that it’s rush, it’s starting to hurt again.  Today is just not my day.

Even at 20, sometimes a night away with my family and having my doggie follow me around the house wanting attention since I haven’t seen her in so long, makes me feel better. This is just what I needed before the craziness of the semester really sets in. Work everyday when I don’t have class and tons of homework already piling up…bring it fall 2012, I’m ready for you!

Aaaaand the stress sets in again after talking to my mom.  She makes me so scared for the things I’m not home to see.  How she isn’t getting better, how my brother might have something, how she cries almost every time she calls me…It’s getting harder and harder to keep it together.  Sometimes I wish I had the flexibility in my work schedule that I could pack up at a moments notice and go home for the weekend and be with my family.  I hate feeling like I’m stuck here even though I feel like this is going to be my best semester yet.  I’m finally happy with my living situation, with my classes, with the relationships that are starting to get better in my life, but work is still something that I sometimes feel holds me back.  I love the people I work with, but the job itself, the customers, and the bad scheduling are sometimes hard to deal with.  I need to take a deep breath and realize that life comes with difficulties sometimes, but I can handle it, I can manage it, and I will power through this semester.